Our colleagues at KIIS-FM (Los Angeles’ leading radio station) came up with an aimless attempt to talk trash over the upcoming Stanley Cup finals featuring the Los Angeles Kings versus the revered and historic New York Rangers. 18 Reasons Why LA Beats NY was a cute effort to explain some sort of LA superiority, but it works well as a perfect example of the misguided mindset of those on the left coast.
What follows is a REAL demonstration of East Coast dominance, perhaps best evidenced by the quality of the two posts. Read it and weep, LA.
1. New York is the global headquarters of more than just one industry. Advertising, Fashion, Publishing and Finance are all rooted in NYC. Yes, Los Angeles is home to the film industry, but if you want to catch a good indie movie, odds are that is was produced in NYC. Blockbuster schlock? Go LA.
2. NYC boasts the best and most varied foods in the nation, if not world. From Halal carts on the street to Daniel, one can find amazing, affordable food just as easy as the best restaurants in the country. LA has tacos and something called “California Pizza.” Ahem.
3. NYC offers the most enviable neighborhoods in the world. Are rents expensive? Hell yeah, because NYC is comprised of competitive people who don’t accept cheap-ass apartments behind the strip malls of Studio City.
4. Los Angeles has Santa Monica pier (aka, the poor man’s Coney Island). NY Beaches offer WAY better body surfing than the skull crashing scale of the Pacific Coast. Sometimes less is more.
5. Wits – ever watch a TV show and the canned laughter and dim comedy just screams Los Angeles? NY Comedy is much tighter, quicker and overall better. Conan in NYC was way funnier than his current TBS show in LA. Also, NYC offers Colbert, Stewart, Letterman and Fallon. LA? Leno and George Lopez. Ouch.
6. Earthquakes. LA wins the earthquake battle (which cedes the war to NYC)
7. Smog: just like earthquakes, LA’s inversion layer will keep you coughing all day if you’d like. NYC offers no such smog problem.
8. NYers are famous for being brutally honest. If someone has a problem with you, he or she will let you know. In Los Angeles, being phony is the reigns supreme.
9. Professional sports franchise support. NYers ALWAYS fill a stadium or arena by game time, whether its baseball, basketball or football. Wait. LA couldn’t even support a football team, whereas NYC has TWO.
10. When LA wrote a list of reasons why LA will beat NY, they came up with 18 examples. 18? Another example of LA’s half-assed “that’s good enough” ethos.
11. Subways. Yes, LA has a commuter rail system that is used by a healthy 3% of the LA public. But there are probably more people on the NY subway system at any one moment than total rail commuters in a month’s time in LA. Which leads us to….
12. Traffic. Need to get around in Los Angeles? Well expect to spend 45 minutes on the 10, the 405, the 101, just to go five miles. NY offers such an efficient subway (and conveniently compact neighborhood grid) that one almost never needs to drive a car. Yes, living in NY is far more environmentally sound than LA (oh the irony)!
13. Seasons. Want to know why we all love NY in June? Because we’ve EARNED the joy of having a drink outside after work at a local café or bar. Nothing beats Fall or the holidays in NY, and yes, winter is tough. But that which does not kill you makes you stronger.
14. The character of NY is unparalleled. The most iconic movie and book narratives are all set in NYC because the rich cultural mosaic that is this city. Los Angeles? Meh.
15. Disneyland! Yes, that infernal hell holds only appeals to California nitwits who can’t tell the difference between cloying facades that replicate “the old world” and the real thing.
16. The Hamptons. If you need explaining, you’ll never know.
17. Nightlife. NY has the best bars, clubs and restaurants in the nation. Perhaps more importantly, they are all a short walk or cab ride from one another. If someone needs to get from a bar in Silver Lake to a party in Santa Monica, that would require a four figure cab ride and 90 minutes of traffic. No fun.
18. Music. Yes, Los Angeles has a lovely music scene, but the roots of popular music (whether it be blues, jazz, rock and roll or hip-hop) are ALL found in NYC.
19. Tradition – NY has been around for over 400 years. It’s cute that LA is just, what, not even 200 years old?
20. The Rangers are faster, more skilled, better looking and overall more congenial than the philistine LA Kings.